Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize