when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
