So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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