Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Randomize
