If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
