Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize