You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize