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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
