I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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