You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
