My friends, they love my intelligence
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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