Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The beer is more important than you right now.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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