I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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