Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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