Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
