You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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