clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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