Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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