So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
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Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
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I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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