Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
