He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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