the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
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