I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
