did you get engaged???
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize