I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
