Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
