A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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