Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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