She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
she pinky promised me she was 18
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize