using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
