Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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