guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
