We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
