I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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