I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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