you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
