yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
