I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
