it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
