First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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