Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I had to cum in my sink.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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