Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
