you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
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50% drunk capacity currently
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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