a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
