She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize