Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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