You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
