I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
