You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
