He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
