.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
smell my finger.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
