i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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