he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
