Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
