Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
