the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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