Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
