Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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