Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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