Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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