It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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