Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
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